everything i love gets lost in drawers

day 30 - your favorite song from this time last year

ceremony has been my favorite song for two years now, so i guess i've already answered this question. and so concludes this 30 day project, albeit in an anti-climax.

but i guess i can leave you all with a little bit of gold. this song is on repeat. and may actually prove appropriate, since this time last year, i was 29 and in punchdrunk love.

the national - slow show

taking this crazy chance

date taken: i'm guessing sometime in 1983 or 1984

photo by: no idea

subject: mel, grandma, grandpa, and me

day 29 - a song from your childhood

of course i'm tempted to post something a little more high-brow, but let's get real. when i was a child, i didn't give a shit if something was critically acclaimed or not. and honestly, i still appreciate this song for the same reason i did back then: melody.

the story goes that i called the radio station in iloilo when i was 5 or 6, and gave a shout out to my great aunt, mama meloy, on her birthday. and i also wanted to request a song.

i didn't understand what was so funny.

atlantic starr - secret lovers

there wasn't much

"lost at sea"

date taken: december 3, 2009

photo by: anthony balajadia

day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty

share - penmanship

a promise made

"mutual surrender"

date taken: january 24, 2010

photo by: me

subject: jess and mason

day 27 - a song you wish you could play

easy.

though the piano was my instrument growing up, there aren't too many contemporary songs i wish i could play on the piano. and if i really REALLY wanted to learn a song on the piano, i probably could.

but i can't say the same about the guitar. i've had joni for about ten years now, and i still don't know jack. if i woke up one day as a guitar virtuoso, i'd probably play this song first.

jose gonzalez - heartbeats

all of heaven away

"all of heaven away"

date taken: january 29, 2010

photo by: logan reyes

subject: me and my joni

day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument

i love the psychedelic furs original, but (and i hesitate to say this) i think i love this version more. and i wasn't intending to post multiple songs by the same artist, or any cover songs at all. but when i play this song on the guitar, i am not covering the original. i am covering the cover.

this song appeared on the clueless soundtrack.

adam duritz has this voice that sounds the way crying feels. so when he sings this song, he really milks every word, makes you feel the simultaneous melancholy and optimism of a person who can't shake a lost love.

i play a few songs on the guitar, none of them very well. but when i play this song, i feel it in spades.

counting crows - the ghost in you (psychedelic furs cover)

that's why they call them business socks

"come here"

date taken: april 17, 2008

photo by: me

subject: the tofts

day 25 - a song that makes you laugh

two years later and i'm still rofling.

flight of the conchords - business time

what a beautiful dream

"from agana beach"

date taken: august 3, 2008

photo by: me

day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral

i hope to die in my sleep, at the end of a good, but not necessarily long, life. i want people to remember me as a kind person and a kickass lawyer. and i want to be cremated and scattered over the pacific ocean, between guam and the philippines. and i want a little plaque somewhere, at the foot of a big beautiful tree, where my family can go for comfort.

awesome. now that that's out of the way, i better get my living on, 'cause i got a lot of stuff to do before my glorious cremation.

this song is one of my favorite songs ever, and my favorite song immediately before ceremony. the album, in the aeroplane over the sea, is one of my favorite albums ever, and the first album i bought on vinyl. needless to say, this is a very important album and a very important song to me.

this song is all about being young and beautiful and eating life like ice cream from the carton.

neutral milk hotel - in the aeroplane over the sea

every dream inside my soul

"nuzzle"

date taken: march 9, 2008

photo by: me

subject: rachel and shaunboy

day 23 - song that you want to play at your wedding

i don't get carried away much thinking about marriage anymore. i used to.

i guess i've filed that dream away. for now.

david gray - this year's love

just lessons we haven't learned yet

"albino redwood tree"

date taken: october 31, 2008

photo by: me

day 22 - a song you listen to when you're sad

when i was young and masochistic, i would play the sappiest songs ever when i was sad. because all i knew of sadness was the temporary self-loathing that came with unrequited love. getting older, i witnessed and experienced suffering that is so enormous, it swallowed generations whole. possibilities, moments, altered without warning or logic. my pain was dwarfed, and i started to look at it with fresh eyes.

i've been known to sit on the pity pot from time to time, but i have come to accept that i am a grown ass woman and we grown ass women have other ways to approach our problems. this is not the worst pain in the history of the universe. this is not extraordinary. there is no grand conspiracy against me. it's just life.

so these days, when i'm upset, i don't necessarily want to play fake plastic trees on repeat, excellent as it is. i prefer to play this song, acknowledge the pain i feel, and move on with more grace than i knew i had.

beth orton - sweetest decline

kiss on me baby

"framed best friends"

date taken: sometime in 2001-2002

photo by: greg

day 21 - a song you listen to when you're happy

sometimes i'll be walking down the street with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. if there is music playing in my noggin, this is probably it.

nerd - things are getting better

i'll never need a lie

"i don't disagree"

date taken: february 26, 2008

photo by: me

subject: me and blondie making a pact

day 20 - a song you listen to when you're angry

boom.

whatever happened to crazy old fiona apple. she was fresh and so talented. i bet she still is. and man she wrote some angry shit. she didn't key no one's car, or fuck no one's best friend, or do other vindictive shit girls do when they're hurt. hers was a more academic fuck you. an intellectual fuck you. the kind immortalized in quality songs so generations from now people wonder what kind of asshole inspired this kind of bitterness. what a dick. that's what i think when i hear this song. i don't even know you and i hate you.

never is one of the strongest words i know. and i only say it when i mean it. and you'll barely hear me say it.

but you'll sure as hell feel it.

fiona apple - never is a promise

we talk like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs

"longing"

date taken: october 31, 2008

photo by: me

subject: mom, and my soulmate

day 19 - a song from your favorite album

august and everything after came out when i was 13. i can't listen to it all that much these days. even in the 2 hours or so that i've been listening to the album so i can blog about it, it's triggered a pandora's box of meaning and memory. i don't mean to sound sentimental. it's just that this CD is loaded, and i've been living with it a long time.

i guess i could say something useful about it that some of you may not have known. the title track never made the album, it was replaced by raining in baltimore, a gorgeous track originally written for bonnie raitt. august and everything after was of course in reference to the day adam duritz was born (august 4 or 5, i don't remember), and everything after. the rumor was that the only person with a copy of the song was adam's dad. then in 2003, the band went on tour and did this thing where they let the audience vote online on what songs they wanted to hear at the show. well, naturally, people overwhelmingly voted to hear "august and everything after." adam issued an apology on the band website, he had never recorded the song, and didn't remember the lyrics. the rumor about his dad having a copy was false. the next day, a fan posted the complete lyrics to a song that purported to be august and everything after. every true fan was holding their breath. it looked real, like something adam could have written. adam confirmed that the lyrics were familiar, and he agreed to perform the song. they began their tour in the bay area, and they played the song. people were crying and shit. i was in rochester at the time, but eagerly waiting on cloudkookooland.com for news. and someone posted the bootleg, and i was verklempt. it wasn't nearly their best. but for fans of the album, it was the proverbial holy grail.

i am not posting AAEA. and i'm not posting anna begins, which is my favorite counting crows song. i'm posting the "go to sleep, little angel" alternate live version of round here, that gets cut off before the end. why post an incomplete track? because it's sublime, and because it was recorded at the fillmore in may 1994. i have a bootleg of this somewhere. if i find it, i'll repost. just a note about this song, the character maria (who appears in other tracks) is actually a fictional representation of adam duritz.

counting crows - round here (fillmore 1994)

gonna take you away from harm

date taken: may 30, 2009

photo by: me

subject: danica

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio

my dream deejay plays independent music. i don't mean lo fi, garage recordings, though there is quite a bit of that out there that i enjoy too. a lot of indie is developed and well-produced, and deserves attention. there is something about maintaining control over your craft. it keeps you creative, lets you stay true to yourself and how you are growing as an artist instead of who your audience is and what market you can tap into. i used to think i should have been born earlier to catch the prime decades of musical creativity. but i feel so lucky to be alive right now, when the revolution that is the internet has restored some of the creative freedom of the 60s to artists, and gone a step further, to allow them to disseminate their art cheaply and easily. how else could a girl on guam access music from sydney?

i actually didn't know these guys were from sydney until just now. thank you universe for this moment. i've been listening to these guys for over a year. i figured they were from canada, you know, where all the bands i love are from.

anyway, i think this song is radio ready. totally accessible. simple. upbeat. i wish i could articulate how i feel when i listen to this song. it fills my lungs. makes me feel like being young and taking risks. thank god the spell is broken after four minutes, else i'd be on my way to oz right now.

angus & julia stone - big jet plane

safe up here with you

date taken: july 31, 2009

photo by: me

subject: palau

day 17 - a song you hear often on the radio

so. you're probably wondering. what radio station plays bjork "often." well, it ain't I-94.

i discovered WBER -- "the only station that matters" when i was living in rochester, ny. it was a college radio station. alternative music, all day e'ery day. i was in love instantly. when i moved back to guam to clerk for a year, i was thrilled to learn i could still listen to WBER online at wber.monroe.edu. but because we're literally on opposite sides of the world, during my prime listening hours (workdays in the early afternoon), WBER was on autopilot, playing a pre-recorded set of random tunes. it took a few listens, but eventually this gem went from ambient noise to the center of my universe. and when i moved back (temporarily) to california, it became sort of my anthem, the soundtrack to my restless nights.

i kind of live on hype machine these days, but once in a while, i still tune in to WBER for more organized listening. and every so often, i still hear this song in its original context.

i go through all this...

bjork - hyperballad

what good would it be

"yellow"

date taken: october 10, 2008

photo by: me

subject: jennysan

day 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate

i really can't stand this song. it's not even that i loved it before. i mean, lyrically it's pretty weak sauce. but true to form, alicia makes it sound like it was written a long time ago. that sense that it's familiar, that's what i liked about the song.

but every single female singer on guam covers this damn song. yes yes. we all know you're working up to the slide at the end. yes, we know you can do runs. sort of. mostly. but girl, you ain't alicia keys. don't be trying to be alicia keys. it's just not gonna work out for you.

and yes, after hearing the song a million times, its charm kind of wears off, and it becomes gradually easier to study it and be critical of its deficiencies.

shame on you all. now go sit in the corner. and think about what you did.

alicia keys - if i ain't got you

so you might want to turn your head

date taken: july 10, 2010

photo by: gus flores

subject: me, mangroves, and malesso

day 15 - a song that describes you

fact: i have never been bad for another person. my whole life. however we are involved, however long we know each other, i'll be good for you. that may be hard for you to grasp, even harder to accept. but it really is the truth.

i don't know how to be anything else.

Ani DiFranco - 32 Flavors

oh so lonesome for you

"debonaire"

date taken: september 13, 2008

photo by: me

subject: the constant

day 14 - a song no one would expect you to love

"country," says jess. oh yeah? i can do you one better. johnny cash and hank williams are so obvious. how about some leann rimes.

so i cringed when i saw her in concert. can you blame me? she was screeching. no joke. and she was dressed like jewel's second coming (anyone remember the disaster that was?). aaaaand she went up right before james taylor. so really, it's amazing i remember i saw her in concert at all. i wish i could erase that from my memory entirely, and hold on to her sublime first single.

go ahead, play the song. so what if country isn't your bag. you better recognize. when leann hit the scene in 1996, she was 13. this song is an automatic jukebox hit. and if it sounds old, that's cause it is. it was written in the 60s, originally intended for the inimitable patsy cline, but she died before she could record it. but leann rimes, born in 1982, sounds just right singing this song. credible. like the girl's got the blues.

why oh why did leann stray from the purity of this track. now she's into some sort of crossover shit aimed at broadening her audience, in the process diluting her roots and devolving into a blonder and more forgettable shania twain.

bummer.

Leann Rimes - Blue

i guess i need you baby

date taken: march 16, 2010

photo by: logan reyes

day 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure

that's right. not even the glen hansard version. let it be known that i am not afraid to commit. well, at least when it comes to music.

i love to hate britney, but the truth is i actually like about as many of her songs as as i do, say, john mayer, whose musical talent, without a doubt, is infinitely superior. that's not even a compliment, is it. i'm sure john would be thrilled to hear that comparison. i just think this song is well written. screw the critics; the proof is in the pudding. take away britney's...um...let's call it singing, the strange percussive elements that start in the second chorus, and their insistence on playing the piano part an octave too high, and you get a gorgeous melody, and lyrics that aren't incredibly offensive. i think britney's lack of real vocal ability actually makes this song seem quieter. more vulnerable. i don't think beyonce could have sold this song.

it's possible that the full extent of britney's...um...let's call it genius will not be realized in her lifetime. maybe a hundred years from now, when mid-range breathy vocals are all the rage, this stuff will be critically acclaimed, and i will be vindicated for really really enjoying this song. until then though, i will probably only admit to this love in a half-whisper and never in mixed company. or on semi-anonymous blogs with no more than six followers.

Britney Spears - Everytime

i love my hands around your neck

"nice shoes"

date taken: january 31, 2010

photo by: logan reyes

day 12 - a song from a band you hate

i haaaaate nickelback. formulaic. boring. same damn song over and over again.

i do however find this song the most tolerable of their songs. of course, it's about a subtle as a dog in heat. but that's just how nickelback rolls.

Nickelback - Figured You Out

you have turned me into this

"llorando"

date taken: february 9 , 2008

photo by: me

day 11 - a song from your favorite band

it took me quite a bit of time (and some consultation) to settle on a favorite band, then a song from that band. it's like asking a mother to pick a favorite child, then a craft that the child brought home from school.

is there bad radiohead? i should ask somebody...

Radiohead - Bulletproof...i wish i was