change my pitch up

screw facebook. after much deliberation (read: sitting on my ass, watching too much House Hunters international on HGTV), i have decided to reclaim what little remains of my brain from the zombieland that is Facebook, and temporarily eschew microblogging in favor of actual blogging, which is infinitely more creative and satisfying. be prepared for an onslaught of violent cupcakes, photos, and music that will dig into your core and shake it like i'm mad at your mama.

Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up

everybody know who i am

one of the reasons I've been totally MIA since August is because I was asked to be the Commissioner of the Marianas Variety Fantasy Football league. It's the first year of the paper's league, and I put a lot of work into it, especially up front, setting up scoring and schedules, and writing bi-weekly articles for two leagues that will compete in Week 18 for the ultimate prize for any fantasy player: a trip for two to the superbowl.

sadly, being commissioner has kind of taken some of the joy out of the game for me. i've been neglecting my outside league, which i'm also the commissioner of. i'm not eligible to win the trip, so it's not like i can talk *too* much shit. and people are constantly calling me out 'cause i'm not the stereotypical fantasy player (i.e. i was born without that defective Y chromosome, i'm not morbidly obese, and i don't live in my mom's basement).

i don't want to get sidetracked too badly, because this IS a music post. randy moss just got waived from the vikings yesterday, and the runner at my office clued me in to this decent mashup aired on ESPN. it's not on the blogs yet, but i don't see why not.

and to my homie randy, though i do truly believe you are crazy (in the clinical sense), i believe in your talent, and i feel your pain. godspeed.

and so it is...

i know i haven't posted anything in a while. the obvious excuse would be to say that i am "busy," but that wouldn't be entirely accurate. it would be more accurate to say that i am keeping busy. i feel like i'm transitioning into a new stage of my life where the risk and adventure of youth are slowly yielding to the grace of adulthood. and i MISS it: the craziness, the lost sleep, the adrenaline. but begrudgingly, i admit this grown up stuff kind of suits me. i have never really known how to be anything but a lady. an awkward, dorky lady, but a lady nonetheless.

i've been trying on a lot of new hats lately, trying to figure out what i care about and what i'm willing to part with. i like blogging. i think i'll keep my blog and its 10 followers (suckaz!).

i guess this is me sort of renewing my vows.

one thing i'm missing

rogue wave - eyes

for crying out loud

i could watch this all day long.

brilliance in A minor

what an amazing project.

look what i can do

date taken: january 16, 2009

photo by: logan reyes

subject: swearing into the california bar

after careful consideration, i have decided to remain active in the california bar.

it's good to have options.

lofty aspirations

saw this on a blog the other day and wondered whether i could actually complete it, or whether it would simply devolve into the same pitiful heap of unrealized potential as my 365 days photo project, which lasted a whopping 5 days. can i actually blog every day for a month? dunno. i guess we'll see.

here's the plan, assuming anyone is paying attention at this point. i guess i could talk to myself if no one is listening. i'm not above that. so here's the plan resuri:

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

for the sake of keeping things organized, i'll start the list in a separate post.

can you hear it? it's all around us

date taken: may 8, 2010

photos by: me

subject: St. Thomas Aquinas Mock Trial Seniors, top to bottom:

Lucas Shimizu, Monica Civille, Dara Namazi, Jacques Diambra Odi

On May 4, 2010, I had the great privilege of traveling with the St. Thomas Aquinas Mock Trial team, which represented Guam at the National Mock Trial Competition in Philly. Now I'm sure you're all wondering...did I have a cheesesteak while I was there? The answer is YESANDITWASGOOOOOD. Now that the important stuff is out of the way, let's talk about the peripheral stuff, like the competition.

It's tough to be objective about your team as a coach. You've seen them at their best, you've wagged your finger at them at their worst. You've talked shit about them behind their backs, and sometimes to their face. I'm at least half-joking here. We went through the competition not having a clue about where we were in the standings. Just, couldn't figure it out. Usually, the further you get into the four rounds of competition, you can gauge where you are in the standings based on who you're playing, who they played, etc. Then you get to the announcement of the final two teams, and when your team isn't announced, well, you know you didn't place in the top two. (I know, you are all astounded by my ability to state the obvious and let me just say, it comes with years of practice.) So, then you get to the banquet dinner where they announce the top ten, and the best attorneys and witnesses of the competition. This year, we didn't get any awards, and we didn't place in the top ten. Practice was grueling. The rounds were rough, and traditionally they are harder for Guam than most of the other teams (except CNMI and South Korea) because a bitch of a jetlag hits you at 3 in the afternoon, in the middle of your second round of the day. And of course, we knew when someone performed subpar, it seems to swallow the brilliant things that happen. It's tough being quick and terse with the students to hopefully correct an error before the next round, while appearing enthusiastic and comforting. I suck at it. Really, this is why I don't gamble.

Why am I rambling about the standings and how bad I thought our team sucked? Well, because, as it turns out, we didn't suck at all.

On our last day, we had breakfast at 7 a.m., then hurried back to the hotel to finish packing for our morning flight. I swung by the ballroom where they were handing out the team packets and scoresheets, and the front of the manila envelope summarized its contents. I was perplexed. In fact, I had to sit down and sort it out for myself before I went back upstairs, which I only mention because I could have spent these extra 4-5 minutes doing a sweep of my room and maybe I wouldn't have lost my ipod shuffle. I loved that thing. I won it at one of those bar games at horse n' cow. Dammit.

Where was I? Oh right.

Guam placed 12th in the nation, higher than all the teams we played, two ballots away from placing top 8, and one game from playing in the finals. Yeah. We were that close. Just to put it into perspective, Guam has only placed higher twice before: 10th in 1995, and 2nd in 1998. This fledgling team, twelve years removed from the mock trial boom of the mid-90s, has placed higher than any team Guam has fielded in this century. This is particularly astounding because St. Thomas has only been in existence for 2 years, we had 4 of the 6 seniors of the school on the team, and a total of 9 kids out of the 40+ kids total at St. Thomas. It's a testament to the quality of the school, the amount of work these particular students put in, and the HUGE support system shaped by administration, coaches, and parents. Ultimately though, none of us were in the ring. These amazing students were. I can say with certainty that nothing, not the tiny 7 team local competition, not the monthlong preparation we worked for the national case, could have created this team. The island created it. We don't have mock trial summer camp. We don't have the luxury of driving across state lines for scrimmages with other state champions. We don't have drama coaches developing characters for our witnesses.

The idiosyncracies of living on Guam, our challenges, our worldview. That's what we have. Guam is competitive dammit. I wish more of our students knew this. I wish the rest of the island recognized this.

I have trouble articulating how much this team means to me.

Thankfully, there is some heartfelt music out there that I think sums it all up.

Jay-Z - 99 Problems

reclining on an ocean swell

date taken: august 2, 2009

photo by: me

subject: jellyfish lake, palau

got my scuba certification today (woot!). which means i can take photos underwater without the burden of coming up for air.

hello interweb. i come in peace.

i'm not ambitious. i'm just trying to detox from facebook.

i'm resuri. i don't actually have a lot of spare time. but sometimes i like to use time i should be dedicating to more practical obligations doing things people ordinarily do in their spare time. i spend an obscene amount of time on the internet. and while i am interested in grand things i assume a lot of people are interested in (travel, adventure, witnessing spectacular moments in history), i am preoccupied with the dailiness of my life. so whether i'm admiring the flourescent green lawn of my neighbor's yard in upstate new york, stapling crude neon fliers protesting sweatshop labor on berkeley bulletin boards, or smoking some hookah with my toes sunken in the soft sands of fujita beach in guam, my passions are constant. and this is how i hope to fill these pages, with the music, food, and photographs that fill my life.

i don't know. i guess i'm just hoping someone finds something meaningful here.